There are two ways of solving problems, adult way and childish way, it is ngotiable which way is better but from I’ve learned so far, acting like a child does not help you when you are having problems with your roommate. I didn’t even realize untill recently how irrational and unreasonable my behaviour is sometimes (especially when I am under pressure) so now I want to share my thoughts with you, in case you are having the same problem.
Problem: My roommate and I agreed on taking turns putting the trash out, and we decided that it should be done as soon as the garbage bag is full. But as we are both hard working young adults with personal life and after-work time interests and activities, it happened quite a few times that garbage stayed in our kitchen for days, (in fact, I wanted to write “weeks” but I felt too embarrassed to admit it), untill the stench from it reached its unbreathable maximum. Then someone, whoever turn it was at the moment would finally put it out. We both felt guilty about it and tried to make sure it is not happening, but… you know… it didn’t always work. My roommate was doing better than me though, so she started making comments about me being careless, which made me slightly irritated.
Childish Way (what I did): I’ve waited patiently for a few days untill she was finally the one who forgot to take the trash out, and when the trash bags started looking/smelling gross again I filmed it with my phone, dressing the video with a few sarcastic comments, and sent it out to her.
Adult way: Apologize and move on, making an effort to be more mindful about the trash situation.
Problem: My friend and his roommate Dea have different daily schedules, so he comes home late at night while she leaves for work really early in the morning. He makes noise, occasionally, that wakes her up, because he just doesn’t pay attention to how heavy his walking is, and how loud he slams the kitchen cabinets and fridge doors.
Childish way: One night he woke her up, Dea appeared in the kitchen wearing the “devil’s face” (my friends literate expression) stomped to the bathroom without a single word, not even “hi”, and then went back to her room slamming the door behind her with the loud Bang! Next morning she tried to make as much noise as possible resetting the microwave three times (microwave buttons make this heart wrenching beep sound) and making herself three smoothies in the bullet blender.
Adult way: Leave a note in the kitchen letting my friend know that he wakes her up with detailed explanation of what exactly he does that makes so much noise. (Yes, this is how my friend is, you have to break your issue into elementary particles and give it all to him one micro particle at a time, but once he got it, you’ll never have to get back to it again).
Problem: My friend and her roommate Laura went to Benjamin Moore to get painting supplies for their upcoming living room makeover, and the total cost of it ended up being more then Laura could afford.
Childish way: Once they were done shoppping and back home Laura had resentfully confronted my friend about the final bill coming up to $120.00 (split between two of them) talking about how she now has to cut her lunch money for the whole week untill her next paycheck.
Adult way: Let my friend know, that you are on a (tight) budget upfront and either postpone the makeover till the next paycheck, or come up with cheaper choice of supplies.
The baking pans that made Tanisha famous.
Problem: Tanisha Thomas the Bad Girls Club Season 2 star got frustrated with three of her roommates partying in the house till dawn while she and other girls tried to sleep.
Tanisha’s Way: What would be the better way of addressing the issue than walking around the house at the break of dawn next morning and banging two alluminum oven trays against each other to wake up everyone in the house (including those who didn’t get to sleep last night because of partying roommates)? That’s right, walking around, banging those trays AND chanting “I DIDN’T GET NO F*CKING SLEEP CAUSE’A Y’ALL!! Y’ALL NOT GON GET NO SLEEP CAUSE’A ME!!!”.
Adult way: I, seriously, can not think of any better way to deal with this problem. Am I wrong or you can call it a-street-smart-way of dealing with an issue? And even though this episode aired around eight years ago I guess it will never get old for me.
Perfect roommates don’t exist y’all, so we all have to be a little bit more accepting and easy going letting our inner child out somewhere else rather than inside the apartment that we share with another individual who also has an inner child trapped inside him/her.