Hooking up with your roommate

roommates dating

Can we, please, skip the talk about why dating your roommate is bad for you here? There are plenty of stories written about it on the web, so let’s better concentrate on the moment where passion has sort of died, and reality started kicking in. The time has come to face the conscequences and deal with the mess you have created like an adult, before it’s too late.

First of all, according to my experience, all the horror stories I’ve found in the internet about the given subject and Jersey Shore series (remeber Sammy and Ron?) the break up and “just being roommates” is hardly going to happen, things are just more complicated than this, so the best thing to do in this situation would be to try and keep the good roommate realtionships(even if you are planning to move out soon) while backing out of a hook up situation.  Easier said than done, of course, but, hey, nothing is impossible with God, right?

So, the first step in the right direction would be to engage in more activities outside of your apartment. Just start doing something fun, sign up for a yoga class, treat yourself with a nice deep tissue massage and an evening at a spa salon, buy a blogging class or enroll in a drivers school (if you live in NYC odds are you don’t have a drivers license, or, even if you have one, you don’t know how to drive), just spend some time away from your roommate. In fact, spend as much time away from him/her as possible. And again, as our goal here is to keep the whole thing as drama free as possible, try keeping it casual, no statements made, no feelings hurt, no aggression triggered. So, even if you feel like it, bitterly dropping something like “I’m taking this swimming class tonight because I don’t want to spend the evening under one roof with you” is a mistake.

roommates dating

Back off, stop seeking contact with this person, reduce the amount of texts you send to him/her to the minimum and try talking less when you are spending time together, because, when the tension is present between the two, any conversation can grow into a full-scale conflict, and we are trying to avoid this, remember? Just don’t mix “trying to talk less” with silent treatment for nothing provokes irritation more than silent treatment.

If you are already at the stage where you are fighting all the time, the most reasonable, yet the most impossible to follow, advice would be to shut up and walk away, which, for someone like me, sounds not just hard, but simply imperceptible. Although it is pretty obvious, even for me, that when two people are worked up, any attempt to negotiate is going to be a failure. The good thing to do at the moment like this would be to just stay quiet and spare yourself the drama, and the best thing would be to actually try and understand the person in front of you (yes, the one throwing insults at your face) and try to work things out, so that you are both happy. I know, It is the most difficult thing to do but, trust me, if you manage to pull it off, you will feel like you have conquered the world.

And the last thing is: try to keep/mend friendly and easy going relationship with your roommate because, as opposed to breaking up, you just want to terminated the “thing” you are having together, while avoiding creating toxicity in the house where you both live.

Thanks for reading this, y’all, and I really hope you find my advice here useful, although I’m not so sure of it, for I didn’t really do any research while writing this post and all of the above is simply something that would be the right thing to do in a situation like this, based on my personal, subjective and biased opinion.

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