If you analyze your most recent fight you will most likely come to a conclusion that you have overreacted and the whole thing could have been settled in a much more peaceful way. In fact, maybe, there would be no fight at all. Having arguments and fights is usually normal and even healthy, as long as you learn from them and become a stronger person, but when it comes to your roommates you really want to keep fighting to the minimum. So next time when you feel your blood starting to boil, excuse yourself, retire to your room and take some time to calm down.
Below are the exercise complex that can help you relax even in the most tense situations. It consists of yogic and buddist meditational and breathing techniques that are designed to slow down your heart rate, balance your thoughts and ground your emotions.
1.Kapalabhati breathing (Skull shining breathing)- takes about 3-4 minutes.
There is nothing like Kapalabhati breathing when you need to release stress and negative emotions fast. Begin by taking a deep breath in through the nose and then exhale sharply pulling your lower belly in at the same time to tap your spine. Keep breathing like this increasing the tempo for approximately 1 minute then slow down on the count of ten, take a deep inhale hold your breath for a moment and then exhale slowly. Repeat as many times as needed although three round will usually do it.
2.Grounding – approximately 1 minute.
Set your feet about hip-width distance apart parallel the outer edges of your feet relax your knees, slightly bend forward to straighten your spine take a deep breath in and exhale imagining your negative thoughts streaming down the back of your head, your spine and your legs and pouring down into the ground. The beauty of this exercise is that it requires so much concentration visualizing the whole thing that you simply can’t hold on to your negative thoughts or emotions.
3.The next exercise was borrowed by me from Zen meditational practices. I can’t really remember the proper name for it but it works just fine anyway. The main purpose of this exercise is to help you pull yourself together by balancing mental, emotional and physical conditions of your body. It will take you approximately 5 minutes of concentration to feel the effect.
Begin by placing your hand on your forehead. Listen to your thoughts for a while, just registering them and letting them be. Let them come and go without engaging and letting yourself get carried away by “the train of thoughts”. Then feel the warmth of your hand and it’s weight on your forehead. Indulge in this feeling and let it take over your thoughts for a few moments. Next place your hand on your chest and do the same thing listening to your emotions. At last place your hand on your solar plexus and listen to the physical sensations in your body. You will notice how much more settled you are when you are done with this exercise.
4.Three-fold breath – 5 to 3 minutes. This yogic breathing technique is perfect for helping you relax, clear your thoughts and regain your focus. Doing it will require some imagination on your part though. Just imagine that you are an empty vessel, you know, like a glass or, even better, a beautiful vase. Inhale imaging your vessel filling up with breath, starting with your lower abdomen, then your upper abdomen and, at last, your chest. Exhale releasing the air first from your chest, then from your upper and lower abdomen. Repeat several times focusing on maintaining the right order. Let each breath be slow and smooth feeling yourself with peace and comfort. Now would also be a good moment to ask yourself following questions: What do I really want in this situation? What do I really need? What can I do to get what I really want/need?
5.Last, but not least is setting yourself in the right mood to solve the tricky situation with your roommate in the best possible way. This simple yet effective exercise is called “Inner smile” and will require about 5 minutes for you to complete.
Sit down comfortably, close your eyes and concentrate on how your eyes look when you smile. When you indulge in the feeling completely take it to your heart with a deep exhale. Repeat several times.
Voila! You are ready and armed for the challenges and rewards of the outside world!